Couples Retreat

Sometimes cinema throws up works that are obviously a product of Satan’s workshop and stand as proof of his devilish means of killing us softly with his film. Couples Retreat is one such soul-destroying piece of vomited tripe.

Billed as a comedy; the only joke is the fact that this film was ever made in the first place. Written and produced by that bloated dunderheaded hog, Vince Vaughan, the film reunites him with his Swingers oafish half-witted sidekick, whose turgid chest looks as if it cannot contain his smugness. The plot is nothing more than an excuse for everyone involved to have a holiday in Bora Bora based as it is on 4 couples having a holiday in Bora Bora. Once there, they must immerse themselves in couple-bonding activities in an effort to save their marriages. What is supposed to ensue is hilarity; but instead the film throws up scene after scene of root canal guff.

The ridiculous premise of the film feels its need to be justified by the opening 20 minutes that seems to go out of its way to introduce the audience to a set of characters. The script is devoid of any semblance of wit or imagination and would appear to be the result of Vaughan repeatedly smashing his forehead against a keyboard. Here is proof against that argument that a room full of chimpanzees with typewriters could write Shakespeare – Couples Retreat is the end product.

Sitting through this mind-numbing collection of cobbled-together slop of malignant idiots on holiday could only be made better if suffering from a severe case of flaming haemorrhoids, the pain of which made it impossible to take in anything on screen.

Couples Retreat is a shameful exercise in megalomania and should be avoided at all costs. Everyone involved should have their foreheads tattooed with ‘I’m Sorry’. With films like this; ever feel like you’ve been had? Audiences Retreat.